White Chicks on DVD
You cant help but lose a little faith in Hollywood when six writers get
together and White Chicks is the best they can do.
From the gang that brought us Scary Movie 1 & 2 comes a movie about a couple
of bumbling FBI agents who go deep undercover as you guessed it
white chicks. After a job goes awry and they get the wrong guys, brothers Kevin
and Marcus Copeland are assigned to escort two rich white chicks to a fancy
ball type-thing. When a car accident leaves both chicks with faces
cut, they flat out refuse to go.
Naturally, the brothers fear for their jobs, so they enlist the help of some
guy they know somehow, who just happens to be an expert on disguises.
So he whips up some masks, breasts, and hair, and creates the most obviously
fake women in the history of the world (editor's note: this reviewer has
obviously never seen Dame Edna). The two black guys become two white chicks,
and as they head off to the ball, the filmmakers would like you to believe hilarity
So much can be said about this movie. First and foremost, its hard to
understand anyone taking it seriously because the makeup effects are so bad.
Were supposed to believe that everyone believes these are white chicks?
Now, I completely understand that special effects and makeup effects are not
perfect, and if you expect perfection youre going to be disappointed.
But if this is the best they could do, they shouldnt have made the movie
in the first place. Although Im sure if theyd called Rick Baker,
he could have whipped something up.
Okay, so there are a couple of instances in the movie that make you chuckle.
Unfortunately, when youre doing everything you can to make every line
a joke, a couple of chuckles is not very good. Possibly the worst aspect of
the film is how many funny situations are set up and then made completely unfunny.
A perfect example is when one of the white chicks is giving a demonstration
on oral sex. Any other movie could have had a lot of fun with it and made it
hysterical. The writers behind White Chicks take it and make it so unfunny,
you cant even believe they thought it was funny when they were writing
it. Pretty much the entire movie the dance contest, the date in a strange
house with a vicious dog is a series of snippets from other, funnier
For the movie to be better, it shouldnt have been a Wayans project. When
the FBI agents are in their makeup, they should have been played by the white
chicks theyre impersonating. At least then youd have a Monty Python-style
scenario going on: women playing men playing women (similar to the men playing
women playing men during the stoning scene in Life of Brian). Not only would
the situation already be funnier, but if the actresses were good enough, they
could have pulled it off infinitely more believably than Shawn and Marlon Wayans.
It must also be said that the movie is hard to take because it takes full advantage
of the politically correct-obsessed world of today. If a bunch of white guys
had gotten together and made a movie called Black Chicks, the controversy would
nearly destroy the planet. But because its black people making fun of
white people, its perfectly acceptable.
Ive heard a few people say that White Chicks is the funniest movie theyve
ever seen. These are the kind of people you should avoid talking to. White Chicks
is a huge disaster of a movie, never sure what its doing or why its
doing it. It spends more time trying to make you think its funny; it forgets
to make it funny. I cant think of a single reason why anyone should waste
their time on this movie.
On DVD, White Chicks is available in PG-13 and Unrated versions, and they cant
even do that right. While the unrated version runs six minutes longer, Ill
be darned if I can figure out what scenes were added. Theres not a single
second in the film that deserves to be considered unrated; the closest thing
is (yet another) explosive diarrhea in the womens bathroom scene, but
its no worse than in the fifty other movies it's been done. Normally wed
recommend the unrated version because it would feature what they couldnt
show in theatres, but it seems completely superfluous in this case.
The movie itself is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen and Dolby Digital
5.1. Picture quality features great color and detail, with no dust, grain, or
halos. The film doesnt exactly cry out for a home theater system, but
they did a good job with the disc. The audio track has some excellent separation,
particularly during the action-ish scenes. Bullets whiz past your head and things
crash all over the place but dont drown out the other elements. Dialogue
is clear and the score stays mostly in the background except when its
meant to be the audio focus (like during the dance contest).
We get an audio commentary from the Wayanses that I was hoping would be an
apology, but to this day they believe they made a great film. The first of three
featurettes focuses on the makeup effects, and features everyone talking about
how real they look. In fact, they mention how they wouldnt have made the
movie if they couldnt get the brothers to look convincingly like white
I guess no one had the heart to tell them
The other two featurettes are typical behind-the-scenes vignettes. The first,
A Wayans Comedy, takes us through the process of creating and writing
the movie with the Wayans family. The other, an Encore: On the Set
special is pure fluff. There are also some filmographies, and a series of trailers.
White Chicks, from Columbia Tristar Home Entertainment
115 minutes, anamorphic widescreen (1.85:1) 16x9 enhanced, Dolby Digital 5.1
Starring Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Jaime King, Frankie Faison, Lochlyn Munro
Produced by Keenan Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Rick Alvarez,
Lee R. Mayes
Screenplay by Keenan Ivory Wayans & Shawn Wayans & Marlon Wayans &
Andy McElfresh & Michael Anthony Snowden & Xavier Cook, Directed by
Keenan Ivory Wayans
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