Sleepless on DVD
You know you're watching a B-movie when less than five minutes into it
there is a full frontal nude shot of an unattractive woman with no acting
She's obviously under the impression that this is her ticket to stardom,
and the movie makers realize that, unfortunately, this is the best they
can do with their budget.
Such is the case with Sleepless, a direct-to-video horror movie from
Dario Argento, "the master of horror."
And if he's the master of horror then what's Wes Craven, John Carpenter,
Sleepless opens with detective Moretti (Max von Sydow) arriving at a
crime scene. A woman has been brutally murdered and her young son has
witnessed the entire thing. Moretti vows he'll catch the killer, even
if it takes him the rest of his life.
Suddenly it's seventeen years later. A prostitute leaves her latest client,
but accidentally takes a blue file folder with her. Inside is information
about a series of murders that happened seventeen years earlier (coincidence?
I think not!). She boards a train and calls a friend for help, but she
never makes it home.
There are so many things wrong with this movie, I'm not sure where to
begin. First of all (okay, I guess I do know where to begin), the picture
on the cover looks like the film is going to have a really cool-looking
villain. When you find out who it really is, it leaves you thinking what
relevance the cover art has. Another problem is that the only person in
this movie who seems to have ever acted before is von Sydow. It also has
the most implausible ending I've seen since Reindeer Games. It's not hard
to figure out who the bad guy is from the beginning, but even when he
reveals himself it doesn't quite make sense.
Anyway, instead of talking about all the things wrong with this film,
I've decided that I've already wasted the two hours it took to watch it,
plus however long it's taking me to write this review. I don't plan on
wasting any more of my life on this trash.
Even hard core fans of cheap, direct-to-video horror movies will undoubtedly
be disappointed with Sleepless. Avoid at all costs!!
The disc, appropriately, is pretty sad. It has terrible picture, presented
in full frame, and the worst 5.1 Dolby Digital track I've ever heard.
The only extras are some sneak peeks and the trailer.
Your other DVD's will likely go on strike just for being in the same
collection as this travesty.
Sleepless, from Artisan Home Entertainment
117 minutes, full frame, 5.1 Dolby Digital
Starring Max von Sydow, Sefano Dionisi, Chiara Caselli and Rossella Falk
Produced by Dario Argento and Claudio Argento
Screenplay by Dario Argento and Franco Ferrini
Directed by Dario Argento
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